There and Back Again: A Malaysian Reunion

I remember growing up when my dad would take us to family reunions. We’d spend the day at a park somewhere, goofing off with cousins while the adults took grainy videos. Here’s one such clip of my siblings and I from about 1990.

It’s important to catch up with family. You get all the generations together and reconnect over memories and food. You see the kids getting bigger. The grandparents getting a little slower. Most of our family lived in Ohio or Pennsylvania, so those gatherings usually took place somewhere exotic like… Youngstown.

Well times have changed a bit.

I’ve got a new extended family on the other side of the world. A big Malaysian brood that’s both a blessing and a burden. We’re lucky to experience a different culture and far-flung lands, but man it’s an undertaking to get there.

Here’s another story.

Pack your bags…

I lived in Malaysia for three years. My wife and I had two kids and a million adventures. We relocated to the U.S. last April, and after about a year and a half it was time to reconnect with our kampung roots.

I spent a few months planning the trip. I learned a lot from our previous journey, and I wanted to give everyone an adventure without too much stress. We set out early one September morning, quietly contemplating the many miles ahead.

Our first flight was a quick skip to Chicago, then a 13-hour epic to Japan. Those long-haul flights are a grind. There’s no way around it. You pass the time however you can while your mind and body fall into circadian chaos.

I watched a few movies, (Across the Spider-Verse 👍) while everyone else slept or snacked or squirmed. The kids honestly did pretty well. They’re experienced travelers by now. They got cranky toward the end of the long flight (we all did) but for the most part they took everything in stride.

We de-planed in Narita, which is about an hour outside Tokyo. It’s a quiet, rustic prefecture, and I had a leisurely 48-hour layover planned. We first took a bus to our hotel for some much needed R&R.

The next day we ventured downtown and took a walk through Naritasan Park. It was a beautiful, historic property with ancient temples and scenic paths.

We strolled the streets of Narita and soaked up the Japanese vibes. I really enjoyed my time there. Everything is so clean and considered. The Japanese people are gracious and everyone brings this quiet dignity to their work.

After two days of recharge, we boarded our next flight to Kuala Lumpur. We flew for seven hours and touched down in KL around midnight. We ate fried chicken at the airport then shacked up in another hotel.

We were tired and jetlagged but we did it! We made it to Malaysia!

The next morning we rented a van and drove two hours to the kampung. We pulled up to our former home and the whole family was there to greet us. It was a wonderful reunion.

There was food and games and gifts. They even set up a water park in the backyard.

The kampung was pretty much as I remembered. Lush and humid with chickens outside our window.

The kids settled in almost like they’d never left. I was really proud of the way they adapted to all the people and surroundings. It can be a bit of a culture shock, but they embraced the experience and everybody had fun.

After a few days in the kampong, we hit the road to visit family around Malaysia. We first swung through Kuala Pilah, Leila’s birthplace, then traveled to Malacca and Port Dickson along the coast.

We spent the night with some family in PD, and everyone enjoyed a fabulous seafood dinner on the beach.

After that it was off to Kuala Lumpur, where we stayed with my wife’s brother and visited some in-laws downtown. Everyone was an amazing host.

It was a whirlwind of a week. Lots of driving. Lots of family. Lots and lots of food.

With the visit winding down, we went out for one last feast with the whole crew. We got Mediterranean food, one of my favorites, and it made for a wonderful sendoff. I’m really touched how everyone made time to see us amidst their busy lives.

The next day it was back to the airport for some tearful goodbyes. It’s never easy parting ways after a visit like that. The distance is so long. The time goes by so fast. I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, and that makes leaving really hard.

We flew off again through Japan, this time laying over in Haneda and decompressing in an airport hotel. I’m so glad we took long layovers. Everyone traveled better with a chance to stretch our legs between flights.

We had one more haul to go, the interminable Tokyo-Chicago leg that seemed to never end. We finally touched back down in Cleveland, the end of a 17-day, 20,000-mile trip.

It was an epic, epic journey. Flying across twelve timezones really messes with you, and we suffered about a week of serious jetlag after coming home. The kids would wake up at 4 a.m. and crash in the afternoon. We all did. Fortunately, we came back to beautiful fall weather and everyone enjoyed playing in the leaves.

You learn a few lessons with every trip, and I’ll note a few takeaways from this one:

1) Pack Light

This was something we stressed after lugging so much stuff in the move. We were much more efficient this trip, living out of backpacks and duffle bags, and it made a world of difference. My one big addition was purchasing this collapsible double stroller. It was a lifesaver.

2) Let Kids Be Kids

Kids can travel but you have to manage expectations. You can’t push them too hard. You can’t lose your cool when they get tired, cranky, or sick. You have to be the adult and help them get through it, even if it means rocking them to sleep during dinner, or letting them go bonkers in an airport gate.

Special shout-out to the Tokyo airport for this awesome play area right in the terminal.

3) Enjoy the Journey

If we’re going to fly ten-thousand miles to Malaysia, we might as well make the most of it. We took four days getting over, enjoying long layovers in Japan to see the sights. It helped make the long flights more bearable, and gave us some great memories experiencing a different part of the world.

I’d like to use future trips as a springboard to explore new countries. We could fly through Europe or Africa or the Middle East. I’d really love to visit India someday. If we build an exotic stop into every Malaysian reunion, we’ll get a nice global perspective and fill the kids’ passports as they grow up.

I’m really proud of what we did. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of my wife. I’m proud of my kids. Everyone hung together and rode the waves of a marathon trip. It was not easy. So many miles. So much zipping here and there. Over the course of two weeks I think I slept in eight different beds.

But it was worth it. We had an international adventure and a great family reunion. Adam and Leila got to experience their birthplace, while my wife’s parents got to see their grandchildren growing up.

I’m not sure when we’ll visit Malaysia again. I don’t think it’s a trip we can make every year, but hopefully we can line one up in 2025. We’re experienced travelers and there’s a big world out there I’d like to see. My kids aren’t even four and they’ve logged more miles than most people travel in a lifetime.

That’s what you get with family on the other side of the world. It’s not always easy to get together, but when you do, it’s special.

See you next time.

---