If you’ve ever spent time in Asia, you probably encountered one of these:
Yes, that’s a toilet, but with one subtle distinction:
It has no seat.
So how does one do their business?
Squat toilets are commonplace in many parts of the world. You’ll find them throughout China, India, and Southeast Asia. The notable regional exception seems to be Japan, where the toilets are basically full-service washrooms.
Squat toilets are actually considered more hygienic than seated toilets, because you never touch the surface and they’re easier to clean.
I can attest that many of the places I’ve used squat toilets (airports, malls, rest stops) there is often a bathroom attendant hosing out stalls and mopping them down.
Of course, this is not the case everywhere, and you’re bound to run into some nightmares. But how many times have you balked at sitting on a nasty public toilet?
It is said (by experts I’m sure) that squatting facilitates a quicker, easier, and more thorough elimination. Sitting to poop is a modern pursuit, and the squat position better aligns the colon and relaxes muscles around the sphincter.
What’s the best way to go to the toilet – squatting or sitting?
Plus, it’s a great workout!
In my experience, if you’re ready to go – squatting is fine. You hang out over the hole and let gravity do most of the work. Your poo spends more time in freefall, which is fun. If your aim is good it lands with a satisfying plop.
Where you may run into trouble is if things are backed up. Squat toilets are not really conducive to waiting around, or killing time fiddling with your phone.
Also, if you have mobility issues, bad knees or hips – squatting probably isn’t for you. It can be hard on elderly poopers, and they may need to invest in a toilet chair – which is exactly what it sounds like.
My biggest struggle with squat toilets is deciding what to do with my pants. I’ve yet to figure out how to use one without just taking them off altogether. This can be an ordeal because the floor is often wet, and it requires delicately stepping in and out of my shoes.
I’m open to advice if you’ve got any fun squat toilet hacks.
My most memorable squat toilet experience (yeah, I’m going there) was the day I applied for my visa at a government building downtown. We had a long wait, and inevitably I had to poop. I was dressed up for the occasion – nothing fancy, button-down and khakis – and the squat toilet was my only option.
When I finished, I remember thinking, “I just pooped in a squat toilet wearing business-casual attire. Surely I’m a Malaysian now.”
Needless to say, my visa was approved.
This brings me to another quirk of Southeast Asian bathrooms: cleaning up.
While Americans were hoarding toilet paper in the early days of covid-19, folks in this part of the world are more accustomed to just hosing down.
That’s right, a hose. Sometimes a literal plastic tube on a spigot. More commonly, a sprayer nozzle that looks something like this.
With the right water pressure and aim, one of these will get you nice and clean. It’s basically a handheld bidet, and when you live in the sweaty tropics it can be quite refreshing.
Of course, the next question is: how do you dry yourself afterwards?
(I have no idea.)
And what about your pants?
These are mysteries I’ll probably just never understand. I assume it’s something your mother teaches you growing up.
The hose might seem scary, but I’ve encountered worse. If you’re really up against it, a pressurized hose might not even be an option. How about a communal bucket and ladle?
Yeah, no.
Even as a proud trailblazer of cultural immersion, I draw my lines somewhere.
Anyway, this concludes your tour of Asian toilet trivia.
Happy squatting!
Ever used a squat toilet? Share your experience in the comments below.
Leave a Reply