Today is a special Father’s Day for me. It’s my first as a new dad, and the first since I lost my own father earlier this year.
As I stand at this crossroads of fatherhood, I can’t help but feel kind of… old?
Maybe that’s not the right word.
I feel like I’ve progressed to a new stage in life. I’m responsible for a young child now. That’s a big deal! I’m also learning to navigate without the guidance of my own Dad. That’s hard.
I’m both tethered and untethered. If that makes sense.
Anyway, I thought I’d mark the occasion by reflecting on some of the tenets I’ve learned about being a father and a son.
Fatherhood is a Challenge
Anyone can conceive a child. It happens a million times per day. But raising a child is altogether different. That takes patience and sacrifice. Commitment and love.
Children are loud and messy and destructive. They require huge investments of money and time.
Basically restructure your whole life because a child’s needs come first.
But you know what?
So did you. So did I. We were all once helpless, blubbering babies. Nobody comes into this world able to wipe their own butt.
Someone had to sacrifice for you. Someone had to take care of you. Someone had to love you and feed you and teach you to walk.
Raising a child puts all that in perspective. Life is an incredible journey that none of us make alone.
Fatherhood is a Blessing
My son is amazing.
You’ve seen the pictures. The Lord could not conceive a more beautiful child.
Adam has a laugh that will melt your heart. It’s husky and breathless. He gives it his all.
Such joy. Such innocence.
He’s untainted and uncorrupted and utterly pure.
My favorite time with Adam is in the morning. There’s something about waking up from a long sleep that puts him in such a sweet and cuddly mood. He’ll loll on his back and play with his feet and smile like he couldn’t be happier.
There are so many great moments like that. Flashes of blessing and joy. Adam is mine to cherish, to mold, and to love.
That’s special.
And I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet: Showing him the world, answering his questions, teaching him to read or ride a bike.
Someday we’ll go camping. We’ll take in a ballgame. We’ll build something together and teach each other along the way.
I feel like I’ve made a friend for life. And his life has only begun.
Fatherhood is Forever
I miss my Dad.
I miss him every day.
Since he passed, the whole world has gone upside down. Outbreaks and chaos and riots. I feel like I need him more than ever.
He’d know what to do.
I think the thing I miss most is just going to Dad for advice. He was the one person whose counsel I valued above all others.
No question was too big. No problem too small.
I always knew I could count on Dad because he was there for me my entire life. At every milestone, every turning point, every crisis and every triumph.
That’s the endurance of fatherhood. From diapers ‘til death.
Your child will always look up to you, always rely on you, and always carry forward what you teach them. Good and bad.
Even now, he’s still my father. No one will ever fill that void.
I still ask myself: What would Dad say? What would he do?
I still feel him watching over me, and I lean on him when I need to. I’ll do that forever, and I want the same for my son.
I want Adam to know his Dad is always there for him. I want him to look up to me, to respect me, and to believe his life is that much better because I’m a part of it.
It will be a lifelong pursuit.
So that’s my take on fatherhood. I’ve only been a Dad for seven months, but I’ve been a son forever.
Of course, this all applies to motherhood as well. If anything, Mom’s emotional bonds are even more profound.
But, today is Father’s Day and that’s what I’m here to celebrate.
So for all the fathers, here and gone: I raise my glass to you.
Cheers.
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